Of Semen and Starfish

I’ve been there—where you haven’t been.

In the sea at night. The spawning. This is the closest
I’ve ever come to sex.  Swimming out into the lagoon

through craters of warm and cold water. Stars above
and stars below. I am de-evolving. Going back to the sea
to the single-cell, to the spineless. 

This is home for me. Floating on my back
my arms and legs open to possibility
but only here. Call me the virgin whore.

I’m swimming in more semen than you ever will.
I have lost hearts and limbs, but here I’ll grow them
back. With these radial sirens as my witnesses, my sisters.

They can feel and touch, know light from dark
but have no real eyes to see
the world for what it is. What is it?

Once a year they gather, sensing temperature,
communicating through excretions. This is the time.
I come to soak with them. Don’t love me.

I am incapable of love. Only simple cells and the spineless
can love me. I will beat myself
against their exoskeletons until they let me in.

*Poem appeared in Drunken Boat #18. Audio available at: http://www.drunkenboat.com/db18/johanna-c-dominguez